Well, today has gotten a lot better. I was able to talk to my best friend and he had some great things to say. As always. I always know that I can count on him to come through. Just like my Father, my God. After talking with him and God, it really cheered me up and gave me a sense of direction again. I just have to say one more time Thank you Father for bringing such an awesome friend/brother to my side way back in 6th grade. Thank you Father for always being faithful and guiding me towards the path you want me on. I can never say enough thank you's and never thank you enough for everything my Lord. Same goes to my best friend Bobby. Always being there for me whenever I need someone to talk to and always being the one I can count on to minister when need be.

I now have a backup plan if my initial plan doesn't work out. Which it might not, but we'll see. I still have faith in my Father. He's gotten me this far, there's no way He's going to let me down now. Praise God!!

I'm planning on seeing Passion of the Christ tomorrow. A lot of my friends are even saying how controversial it is. To be honest, I don't care what other people are saying about the movie. I know for sure that this movie was totally inspired by the Holy Spirit and that God has His mighty hand upon this movie. I can't wait to see it even though I know how I'm going to be throughout the movie and afterwards. I just know it from the bottom of my heart. I'm going to see it alone for my first time. I just want to be alone with God. That way I can let Him minister to me through the movie and throughout the movie. To be honest, it's been really hard to hear His voice lately. I really have to get back into my prayer closet and really talk with Him again. I miss those times I spent with Him back in my apartment in Ft. Collins. At times I wish me and my best friend were still there with God. However, I know that we all have to move forward and look to what God has for us in the future. Jesus even said, these works ye shall do and greater works shall ye do. If we are going to be doing greater works than what we've seen, that means everything else has to be better. It wouldn't make sense if only one portion of God got better and greater and not the rest.

I do know that if I don't get into ORU right away, it may fulfill prophecy. I don't want to write out what God told us because that's for me, Bobby, and God to know. It was a prophecy for us and that's how it'll stay until the time is right to reveal what it is. No matter what happens with ORU, I will Praise God and keep praying throughout it. God promised that I will go to ORU and He wants me to go there. It's all in His hands and on His timing. Even though He wants me there, it may not be now. I just really really want to go to the school right now.

It's strange, I never thought I'd be happy to go back to school. Or ever want to. I realize now how important school really is. Even though it doesn't always teach you what you need to survive in the world, it still teaches you a lot of the basic things that you need in this life. When you go to a Christian school, it teaches you the Bible as well as what you need for this world. I guess that's why I really want to go. Learn more about God's precious Word and get to spend more time with God without so many distractions.

There were so many other things that happened today. I just don't have anymore time to post them, haha. I have to get going to karaoke with some friends. We are going to a new place called Live Music Studio. It's the same as DJ's, but bigger and more song selection. So we are leaving for that now. Take care and God Bless. I love you all very very much. I learn more and more about love each day. Even though I may not be doing what God wants me to do everyday. He is still teaching me new things daily. My love grows for people and friends all the time. On one hand, it's really unusual, on the other, it's awesome and exciting. I love it. Alright, gotta go. I love you all very much and growing.

Man, today hasn't been the best day. It's a Friday too which really stinks. Fridays are supposed to be good days cause it's the end of the week and the start of the weekend, hehe. In any case, I wasn't having the greatest day.

I got a message from Oral Roberts University asking me to call them back. It was in regards to my application and things like that. So I call them back and they tell me that in order for me to have a better chance of getting into the school if I go back to Colorado State University and retake some classes.

Needless to say, I was pretty bummed out. I worked hard to get my grades up and get into Oral Roberts University. They haven't proccessed my application yet. They told me in order to have a better chance and all that I have to go back to CSU for a while.

I don't want to go back to CSU and retake those classes. I just want to go to ORU and do what God has told me to do. So right now I'm really stuck and confused. I don't know whether I should try to get back into CSU and take those classes or to just have them send my file to the committee and try to get straight into ORU. I'm just really confused and bummed out. I need prayer from you brothers and sisters. I don't know what to do. Thank you all in advance for your prayers and support. It means a lot to me. Take care and God Bless.

Today was a pretty cool day at work. Even though I'm still here at work typing this out, lol. In any case, this morning, I went with a co-worker to Park Meadows Mall to help put up some pictures at our kiosk for our company. For those of you that would like to see where I work, stop by the kiosk. It's next to the entrance between Foley's and the other department store. I forget the name of it. Sorry.

In any case, the co-worker I went with is also having a baby soon and all which is cool. The other thing is him and his wife are Christians and they go to a church that's really far from their house. I suggested that they go to Word of Life and he's really thinking about going there this weekend to check out the church.

So after I got back to the office, another Christian co-worker asked if I went to church and naturally I said yes. She asked where and I said, Word of Life right across the street. Her and her fiancee are looking for a home church too and I suggested to them Word of Life. So it would be awesome to go to church and see co-workers, hehe. The cool thing is both couples are having children soon. Word of Life has an awesome children's ministry and the baby dedications are just awesome, hehe.

A few of us were talking about an old employee. One of them was like, he did some unforgivable things. I'm like, there's nothing he could have done that could not be forgiven. She replied back, don't get all Christian on me. I said, I'm just being myself, I'm not being Christian. And this is a Christian sister saying this. It just kind of surprised me. I don't know why, but it did. I know me personally, there's always forgiveness. I choose to forgive because God has forgiven me too many times to count. Being Christlike is just part of my lifestyle. I guess she doesn't fully understand that it's just who I am now. And that's how God wants her to be too. Just to forgive without giving it a second thought. Anyway, I just found that really interesting.

I didn't get to see The Passion of the Christ. It's a real bummer, but I just wasn't able to go. I know my parents probably wouldn't have let me go out on a weekday. To see a movie anyway. If it was business or something, that's a different story. I just want to honor my parents. Even though I'm 21 and an adult now or whatever. Doesn't matter, they are still my parents.

I've been hearing a lot of things about the movie. I really pray that I am prepared for it. I hear a lot of Christians that are just in shock. Maybe they weren't prepared to see it or whatever. It dosen't matter what their situations are like. I just pray that I'm prepared to see it. I've heard that it's a really violent movie and that it is rated R for a big reason.

It is violent, but back then, it was really violent for those people. You also cannot glamourize what Christ went through. He went through so much that making it look "pretty" or screen worthy or whatever would be a sin. It would be really really irreverant. Our Lord's death was nothing short of gruesome. It was nasty. From what I've heard about the movie. It really accurately portrays what happened that day at Calvary.

One on hand, I Praise God for Jesus. On the other hand, I wish that there was some other way that it could have been done. It's hard enough to even think about someone being crucified, much less see it. I'll definitely go and see it on Friday. On one hand, I really want to go with friends and family and what not. On the other hand, I just want to be alone with my God, my Jesus when I see that movie. The first time I see it, it will definitely be by myself. Well, that's it for now. I have to get back to work.

I'll post some more later today. Maybe,hehe. Take care and God Bless. I love you all very much.

This is really cool, haha. I just signed up for Xanga Premium. There's so many more features and I can play around with the site itself a lot more. I have a new font, new colors, everything. It's really cool. I figure since I put so much on this xanga site, that it would be a good investment. I paid $100 and I'll never have to pay for xanga again. So that's really cool. I figure it'd be a good investment for the future and all that. We'll see huh? hehe.

Well, the Passion of the Christ comes out today. I can't wait to see it. I've been waiting for about a year now. I heard about it a long long time ago. I forget where. Ever since, I've been excited about it. There's so much talk about it. It's funny too cause the movie itself is under attack. Most of the time, it means that it truly is from God. I never doubted that it wasn't, but it's just neat to see as a Christian similiar things that happen to ministries and what not. This movie is a movie that will make witnessing easier. Praise God that there are Godly people in the entertianment district that He can use to help others do their jobs for Christ.

It's neat. I was just listening to K-love talk about the movie and I almost started crying. They didn't give anything away about the movie, but they were just saying how powerful it is and it really makes you think about what really happened that day. I was just driving to work with my mom and all. I almost started crying because of what I've learned about that day before. What I've seen on tv and on video. I'm sure this movie doesn't even compare with those. It'll just make everything more real. I just pray that I'm prepared for what I see on screen.

Lately, I've been watching a Chinese soap opera called Meteor Garden. It's really interesting to see what they do in the series. It's a perfect example of the way the world handles everything. Many of the relationships that go on are either based off feelings and looks and actions. That, or the guy is just using the girl or the girls are just trying to get together with a guy that has money. It just shows what happens in this world with relationships. The main female character fights with herself and her feelings throughout the entire series. Thus far. I'm not totally done with it, but so far it's how it is. It's the typical, one guy likes her and she likes his best friend type thing. It's really interesting to see what she does. Really really worldly soap opera. It's a pretty good series though. I'll watch it once and probably never again, hehe. Just once is enough, hehe.

Man, everyone at work is getting sick. I'm so grateful that God protects me from all that. I know that I got that eye infection a while back, but my walk really wasn't going well and I did that to myself. It had nothing to do with God. Psalm 91 is a great protection chapter and psalm. Praise God for that, hehe. It's funny though. I just hear about all their health issues and what not and I'm just like, if you had Jesus, you wouldn't get sick at all. And if you ever did, you could just pray over it and get healed by God. It's that simple, hehe. Praise God.

Well, I planned another get together. Didn't work out this time, haha. Good thing I found out it wasn't going to work the same day I sent out the email gathering everyone up. hehe. That's alright, just have to wait a little longer to get everyone together. Pho and DJ's. Good combo, hehe. It'l be a lot of fun when I do get it together. I just love how God blesses me with that. I get to plan it and it's a huge success. God is just awesome. I really don't thank Him enough for the things He does. It's like impossible to thank Him enough. I remember what He told me and my best friend a while back when we were still living in our apartment. God told us some things about our futures and what not. Afterwards, He said that He loves it when we thank Him for things. It's like that warm and fuzzy feeling you get when someone compliments you or says something nice to you. It's just with God. Even though I may not say it with my mouth all the time, God knows that in my heart, I'm very thankful and very grateful for everything. It's just God, like us, loves to hear it from our mouths. Alright, that's it for now. I don't think I'm going to post anymore today. I could be wrong though, hehe. Take care and God Bless. I love you all very much.

Random Thoughts...  my brotha Wayne's Xanga talked about love, so i...:

(The post was put up by a friend of mine. For those of you that know her, great, for those of you that don’t, don’t worry about it. Everything in red and Parenthesis are what I put in. Everything that is not is part of the original posting.)

Love's selfish mostly on this planet and yet it's still so simple but complicated. (The love of this world is a selfish love. That’s totally true. It’s a love that has been turned around. God created love. Love was twisted because of the devil. Anything bad was done by the devil. God may have created everything, but everything that’s bad or goes against God, was twisted and distorted by the devil. That’s why there’s so much negativity with the world.) Thus... we sometimes view it as a feeling from the heart, or thinking about own feelings instead of placing ourselves on otha's position, or having the purist love that has no materialized elements involved but can't survive the *complicated system* of this world. (The love that God talks about is not a feeling at all. If it were a feeling that would mean that God would be a respecter of persons, which the Bible clearly says, He’s not. Love is a choice.) God's love is complete, I *envy* that kind of love. (God’s love is complete because God is love. There’s no need to envy that kind of love. I say there’s no need because we can have the same kind of love. That requires God to be our focus everyday and for us to grow and become more like God. Which is already what God wants from us. He wants to mold us and form us.) God keeps giving us love even tho we disappoint Him a lot, but I can't keep giving love if i'm deeply disappointed. (God can do nothing less than love us. It’s His nature. God is good, all the time and all the time, God is good.) Would u still love a person consistently if that person disrespects you? Would you still love a person consistently if that person broke one of the most important promises? Would you still love a person consistently if that person makes u live under his shadow? Would you still love a person consistently if that person tells u to have patience but being impatient himself? Would you still love a person consistently if that person doesn't consider your feelings and the serious outcomes that'll happen but only his *crappy* feelings? Would you still love a person consistently if that person jus take things too seriously that ur so pressured and can't be with that person with relax mood? (Love is a choice. You choose to love those people that do all that. It’s hard, but you do it anyway. Why? Because God first loved us. You can’t love either unless you forgive. If you don’t forgive, you can never love.) ... iono..... jus so much.... that i can't take..... ALl giving to God.... but as for me, i can't.... I give portions to Him, but i'm not faithful enuf to give him my whole heart.... that worries me... and that also worries me about the anger in my heart that'll ultimately eat me up. I'm so picky... i'm so easily angered... i'm so stubborn that if i meet another stubborn partner... we can't get along...(That’s exactly why God asks us to give everything to Him. When we do, we don’t have to worry about anything at all. That way we won’t have to worry about who we meet. Which means we can love everyone we meet.) Wuz love? (God is love and what the Bible says about God’s love is what love is.) wuz dating? (Dating is enjoying a night out with your partner.) wuz courtship? (Courtship is when you get to know someone. You meet their family; You talk with their parents. Get to know their friends. They become your next best friend. You are totally open and honest with that other person. No matter what.) and wuz relationship? (Relationship is the next step after courtship. That’s when you and the other person are actually together. Where your communication grows even more than during courtship. Where your love takes another step.) Love cruelly tears apart the cover of a dream but display the cruelty that two people wiz two different personalities and personal strong point of views can't be together?! (A love that is not true love will tear apart a dream. Don’t ever stop dreaming. God uses dreams. God speaks to us in dreams. And the best matchmaker is God. He has that perfect person picked out for us. We may or may not have met that person yet, but we will know who it is on God’s perfect timing.) Love, makes me think of clouds. People said there are different layers of clouds in the sky. When u look up, u may see two clouds emerge together and seems almost mixed together, but after a while, they'll be heading different directions again.... because they are different layers of clouds and thus can never be mixed together as a whole(Like I’ve told some people before. There are no different kinds of love. Though there are many definitions for the word love, they aren’t really love when you look at it. Love deepens as you get to know people. As a Christian, there’s already an initial love for people because of God. Then as you get to know the person, your love will grow deeper because that person is now your friend. Then if courtship starts, the love will deepen even more. Then a relationship develops; your love will increase even more. Then you get married and the love goes another step. Love never ceases. It goes on and on. It should always continue to grow and become greater as the Bible puts it. John 15:13 “Greater love hath no man than this, that a may lay down his life for his friends.” It says no greater love. That means that love only increases and it doesn’t change as people progress throughout their lives.) ... Love brings hope, hope brings disappointment, disappointment brings tears, and tears drop on graveyards. (Hope only brings disappointment if your hope is placed in the wrong things. If you place your hope in God, there won’t be tears to fall on graveyards. God isn’t going to lead us astray. If you place your hope in people, you are setting yourself up to get hurt.  Romans 3:4 “let God be true, but every man a liar; as it is written.” Am I saying don’t trust people? God forbid that. I trust my true friends with my life. But not more than I trust God. Even my best friend is limited in what he can do. God is infinite. He can do anything and everything. People will fail you, but God will never fail you. So if your hope is in Him, those tears are going to be tears of joy.) If a couple can't even agree on a very simple thing, then wuz certain about their future?! Arguments, discussions, life... no compromises.... den how can it work out.... (A couple shouldn’t argue at all. Whenever one is mad at the other, they ought to talk about it and pray together that God will take care of the situation. There doesn’t have to be any fighting or arguing at all. Couples should for the most part already have the same beliefs. There’s the basic belief of God. I want a girl that believes in God and has accepted Jesus as her Lord and Savior. However, when it goes deeper, I’d like a girl who prays in tongues, believes all the that Bible has to say, trusts in God more than she will ever trust in me, etc. etc. etc. There’s so much more. And that’s just the spiritual side. Am I being picky? Maybe. Selfish? Maybe. That’s up to God to tell me.) A person doesn't care how much you love, but only cares how much you care. Love is blind, but cares and understandings are the path to love. As we grow older, our love's not pure anymore. Thinking about our first date, we'd be surprise how simple and easy that *love* is.. even tho it doesn't count as a complete love... ironically, we still don't love completely as we grow up but having more selfish elements involved. (Our love was never pure. It will be purified when we become more Christ-like. And even then, it may not be fully pure. Can we have pure love? I believe so. If we have the ability to not sin, then we have the ability to love just like God. If we continue to allow God to mold us, our love won’t be selfish at all because God’s love isn’t selfish.) In love, one plus one is never two. Different ways of showing how much you like a person can actually destroy a relationship sometimes. Love is freestyle, but when you set it to a certain rules, it's not love anymore, it's rules... but love doesn't have rules.... If love's all about rules, we won't have New Testaments, our salvation and gospel... cuz the law said u'll be damned to be in hell..... *xcuse me*..... but daz true... love's never a possession... if people have to do certain things, then it's not love anymore... if u want to have it forever and lock it up in the treasury box... sorry.... iz not the way it iz... Love can't be planned, bcuz u can never plan love in logic... iz funnie that most humans only have logic.... a commitment can only be a true commitment after you do it, making early commitment to marriage or *going out for 3 years* is foolish and childish.... cuz time can't promise anything and we don't know wut God's plan is... (Time itself can’t promise anything, but God has promised many things over time. And we don’t know what God’s plan is because we don’t ask Him what His plan for our lives are. I’m not saying God will tell us everything. He won’t because that’s just not how He is. He will always give us an answer though. James 4:2 “ye have not, because ye ask not.”  Matthew 21:22 “and all things, whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer, believing, ye shall receive.” God may not reveal everything to us, but we don’t have to go through this life so blindly, not knowing what’s going to happen next. God wants to tell us about our futures. Let us know what we can be excited about. If you went through this life never knowing what God has in store for you, how are you going to glorify God? Sure, you can do what the Bible says. That’s all great and everything, but what about your personal lives? It’s all about relationship with Him. Not relationship with other people.)  "Let's see what God'll do" iz not a good choice since u already did something that God hasn't tell you to do, at least for this moment... o well.... i really don't kno why i'm writing this much like crazy.... but..... random thoughts.... but i guess... maybe iz not random thoughts after all..... no winds... no waves.... (Let’s see what God will do is only an excuse for not taking the time to spend it with Him. If you spend time with Him and really seek Him, you’ll never have to say, let’s see what God does. At least with your own personal lives. There are times where you do have to pray, Father, may your will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven. Jesus prayed that way, we have to do that at times too. God is good, all the time and all the time, God is good. That’s something to really think about. We think of the word good and don’t really understand it at all. I have to admit, even I don’t understand it fully. I’ve heard preachers talk about it, but it hasn’t been grounded into me yet. It has to become so real to me that there is never any doubt anymore. Just like my salvation. I know that I know that I know that I’m going to Heaven. There’s no doubt whatsoever. That statement has to get the same way. Because He really is good all the time. Praise God.)

I hope that this helps people understand God a little better. There’s so much to God that we may not be able to learn it all in this lifetime. I learn what I can and I share what I know. I pray that everyone just strives to know God better. I want to learn more about Him. God will teach people different things about Him and then they are responsible for passing that on to sinners and saints. I share what I know.

Man, I haven't posted in a week, hehe. I'm getting bad at this, haha. I have to bring in my computer though to get it fixed. I have to backup a lot of things then. That's going to suck, haha. We'll see. It has to be taken into the shop though. I can't even access "My Computer". Stupid explorer has a problem, hehe. It's interesting though cause I can still chat online.

This weekend was unique to say the least. It started with Thursday. I got an eye infection or something like that. It was just realy red and it hurt. It was really bad Friday morning. I couldn't open my eyes. At least I couldn't keep them open for more than half a second. Literally. It was really weird. So I just prayed over it and it felt a lot better. It was a real battle though. Just fighting with the stupid infection. So I called my best friend Bobby to pray for me. The Bible says when two or more agree it shall be done. Well, I needed a healing. When Bobby prayed, my eye was like 50% better. It was awesome. We were just like Praise God!! It was neat though. I ended up not going to work at all on Friday and on Saturday.

So Friday, I was pretty much in my room all day besides for lunch and what not. My eyes were so sensitive to the light. If there was like any light, I would have to squint to keep my eyes open. It was bad. So I would pray in tongues as I walked throughout the house. That way, I have the Holy Spirit praying for me because I had no idea what was going on with my eyes. When I pray in tongues, it's the Holy Spirit praying. Not me. So that's really cool. I ended up praying in tongues for about an hour. It felt so awesome to do that again. I really have to set aside time everyday to just sit there and pray in tongues. That's on top of my regular prayers. That way God can build me up as I pray, hehe.

I didn't take any medicine or go see a doctor about my eye. I just prayed over it and let God do the work. I said to my parents, if it gets worse, then I'll go see a doctor. If it gets worse, it would just mean that I was praying the wrong things and I'm attacking the wrong thing. If I had to see a doctor, I can put a name with the infection. And if there's a name to go with it, I can attack it directly and use the name that is above all names. Which is the Name of Jesus. At which every knee will bow and every tongue confess. But my eye has done nothing but get better Praise God. Which means I was fighting the right foe, hehe. God took care of the healing. Thank you Father.

Well, I guess that's it for now. There's nothing else really going on. I'm just still waiting to hear from Oral Roberts University to see if I have gotten accepted yet. I'm sure I will because God wants me to go there.

Anyway, in about a week or so, I'm going to get everyone together for some Pho. And then I'm planning to have everyone then go to DJ's and embarass ourselves. =P I'm just kidding. You're all really great singers. I'm the only one that will embarass myself. Alright, take care and God Bless. I love you all very much.

I just found out some awesome news at the office, hehe. A co-worker and sister in Christ is pregnant. She's so excited and it was really cool to see everyone's excitement.

It's funny, when you look at someone who is pregnant, you automatically see them differently. A pregnant woman is carrying around something very precious and very special. It's God sending us another soul. All people are just beautiful. So a woman carrying around a baby is beautiful times 2, haha.

It was really neat listening to them talk about pregnancy and other people and what not. They were telling some amazing stories about people who should have had baby's not turn out right because of something they may have done while during the pregnancy. It's just amazing to hear God keep those babies in perfect condition. Praise God. It's awesome. God doesn't lose babies. Anyway, that was just something I had to put on because it's just awesome to hear about God. Even in the little things.

Well, there are a lot of things to talk about. So much is happening in my life. Good and bad. I don't want to talk about the bad things because that's between me and God. Not to mention people have enough problems of their own. haha. In any case, there are some things that have happened.

First off, my grandpa went to the hospital about a week ago. He was out walking like he always does after lunch and he slipped and fell. Turns out, he needed hip replacement surgery. It was really bad. He couldn't really do anything at al when we went to see him. I had to piggy back him onto the car and then into a wheelchair. He couldn't even stand. It was bad.

Here's where it gets cool. And praise goes ALL to God. We took him to the emergency room and normally it would take like 2 or 3 hours just to get to him cause he just walked in. After I dropped him and my mom off at the hospital. It takes about 20-30 minutes to get home from the hospital. I stopped to gas up and pick up pizza for dinner. By the time I got home, they had already wheeled him in to take x-rays. It was like 1 hour wait. It was awesome. That's not the only thing. The other cool things are that the doctor that performed surgery on him was a Chinese doctor and could speak Chinese with him. Then the nurse that was in charge to take care of him could understand Chinese so there was no communication problem at all. So that's so awesome. Just God totally taking care of my family. It sucks because I still hurt Him and He's always always always there to take care of me and my family. Even if my family doesn't believe in Him, He's still protecting us. God is just awesome.

Something neat has already happened today. I was checking email and sometimes I will read some news on the media just cause it goes with my email. There was a really neat interview with Staci Orrico. She was talking about being a role model. It was really cool. Here's the link if you want to read about it: http://entertainment.msn.com/tv/article.aspx?news=149977 She was totally speaking towards the other Christians or rather "Christians" who are in entertainment. It's really awesome to see Christians stick up for what Jesus believes in. It's so encouraging to know that there are other Christians in the world who are getting the message out. Brothers and sisters that have their owns struggles and still push forward because it's all for God and it's all about Him and not us.

Another neat thing in the news was more talk about Mel Gibson's new movie. I personally can't wait till it comes out. I've been waiting for it since I first heard about it early last year, haha. It's so typical for people to down the movie just because it's "religious". I know it's not religious at all. God wouldn't have someone put out a movie that so graphically shows what He went through and have it be religious. Here's the link if you want to read about the latest interview they had with Gibson: http://entertainment.msn.com/movies/article.aspx?news=150020

It's really awesome. Gibson says that the Holy Spirit told him to make the movie. I totally agree. There's just so much peace when he says that. It has to be the Holy Spirit. Praise God for Mel Gibson. A very successful actor that isn't afraid to "put it all on the line" for Christ. That's the way to do it. Praise the Lord. Bless His Holy Name.

Today when I arrived at work. There was pain in my stomach area. I don't know why I had it. It just really reminded me how much I really do need God to protect me. It hurt really bad. I just had to call on the Lord. It really brought to mind how much I really have to depend on Him for everything. I can't do things on my own. I can't do anything without the help of the Father. He's the one for me. God has a new way for me to read through the Bible. It's a really neat little thing that He has me doing. I don't want to say exactly what He has me doing because that's between me and Him. It's not a secret. It's just something God wants between us. That's relationship for ya, hehe. There's a lot of things that God keeps just between Him and His children. I know there are some things that are just between God, Bobby and I. Things that God keeps personal with us 3. It's glorious and awesome. hehe.

Alright, that's enough for now I guess. I'm at work and I really have to get back to it, hehe. Take care you and God Bless. I love you all very much.

Lately, there have been a lot of things on my mind. Things that I just don't understand. I know that there are many many things that I may never get to understand, but that's a whole different story.

One of the things is about love. Love has always been something I've been wondering about. I know that God's love is perfect, unwavering, etc. etc. The thing is, people don't understand love. I don't even understand it perfectly. I remember a while back where God told me that my love was incomplete. I now realize what He meant way back when. I understood it before, but not completely. I completely understand it now. Even now, I will still get irritated and start to get angry at things. Which totally isn't me. Parents will always be parents, but that's no excuse. I can't be like just because they are my parents, I'm allowed to get irritated at them. I really want my love to be totally complete. To where I can love EVERYONE just as God loves them. I'm getting there. I see beauty in every person I see or meet. It's really cool. =) God has changed the way I see people. I love it. It's awesome.

Love can be so complicated yet it's so simple. It's just being so selfless. Yet, with a sinful nature, it's difficult to be selfless. And it's so easy to be selfish. It's so natural to be selfish. I see it all the time. It's crazy. I see it in myself sometimes too. But Praise God, He's the one that directs our actions to help us be more like Him. Holy and seperated from the rest of the world.

I hear so many Christians and I hear about so many problems. The answer to everything is Jesus. When you tell Christians that, they are like I know. The truth is, out of everyone that says that, not many of them actually know. They try and figure it out in their minds or whatever. People don't understand that when they give their cares and problems over to Jesus, He will totally take care of the problem and totally take care of the child. It really is that easy. I don't understand how so many Christians have so many problems and not be able to take care of it. I remember when I had problems, I just gave them to God, pray over them and just continue to ask God to help out. And He was the one that took care of it with no problem. That's how God is. I don't see why so many Christians claim to know God, yet they don't know Him at all. Not all Christians are like that and I'm not saying I know everything about God. There are things that I do know that every Christian has to know because without it, it's hard to go through this life.

I heard a story of a time where someone didn't want to become Christian because they didn't want the troubles that accompany it. He saw his Christian friends going through so much and he thought that it goes with Christianity. His Christian friends are really awesome Christians and they helped him through a lot. It was just that one thing, where they were going through so much, that turned him off to Christianity. He loved everything else about God, he just didn't want all that trouble. It really sucks a lot. Is it our fault or God's fault? It's definitely our fault. God is always ready to help us out.

People are so quick to point their finger at other people. Especially at God. It was God's fault. If God is so powerful, why did He let this happen, why did He let that happen? If God is so loving, why did this happen to this person, etc. etc. People never stop to think, well what have I done? Was I even praying for that person? Do I even believe in God to say stuff like that? Do I even care about that person or am I just saying those things because I don't like Christians or something about them? We love to point our fingers. We aught to be pointing in a mirror and blaming the person we see there.

The awesome thing is that God is right there when we do. =) He's there to take all that guilt away. He's there to totally change our lives around. He loves us so much that He will meet us right where we are. We could be on the verge of committing suicide and He's right there saying, don't do it. Let me show you something before you actually do that. That thing He shows us is His love and His power. I'm guilty of many things. I'm totally comfortable talking about them and I'm totally over them. Why? Because I don't care? God forbid. It's because God has taken care of those things in my life. There are other things He has to deal with and He will. I totally trust Him to do it. I have no problems with that. Praise God. It may hurt bad or whatever. I'm ready to go through anything and everything as long as it makes me more Christlike. Praise God!!

Another thing I've been thinking about is school. I hear people complaining about school and hating school and can't wait to get out of school. People just really hate school. I have to admit, I used to be like that. I used to really hate school. Did not want to wake up at all. Didn't want to go to classes at all. Now that God has me going to a Bible college called Oral Roberts University, I'm totally excited to go back to school. I've just realized how important school really is. I just want to help people and there's no better way than to go to school for the education, and asking God for wisdom. You could say that I'm only excited because it's a Bible college and I'm just crazy about God. Maybe, but even if I was going somewhere else, I'd love to do it. I just want to go to school now. I wish I had this attitude way back when I did horrible. I want to learn more so I can be more of a helper and a better servant to God.

For those of you that don't like school right now, I urge you to change your outlook and attitude on it. Don't want you to be like me where now that I want to go back to school, I have to wait and spend the money myself. For those of you that are Christian and don't like school right now. You should ask God to change your attitude about it. He totally changed mine. School really is an awesome place to be. I'm not saying I want to go to school the rest of my life. We all should be really really grateful that we have schools to go to. Don't take schools for granted. There are many children who want to go to school and can't do it.

Well, I think that's it for today. I have to get ready to go home. =) I'm done with work for today, hehe. I will talk to you all later. Take care and God Bless. I love you all very much.