November 3, 2005

• So I watched “The Truman Show” today all the way through for the first time. I’ve seen parts of the movie before, but never all of it. It was good, I actually saw the ending this time, hehe. For those of you that don’t know what movie that is, it stars Jim Carrey and basically, his whole life, from the time he was in his mother’s womb till he’s an adult, is caught on film and shown to the whole world. The whold world witnessed his birth, his first steps, everything. It was a 24/7 showing of this guys life. There was a director and they recreated a HUGE world for Truman. Everything was remade into 1 huge movie set for him. Basically a “perfect” world. Anyone at anytime could turn on the TV and watch this show……basically, his life. All the people in his world are actors. Including his wife and his best friend. Whenever Truman tries to leave the place….there would be just something that keeps him from leaving. Some sort of event or something that forces him in a sense to stay at that city.

  
  

  It just got me thinking that’s exactly how God is too. Just watching our lives. All day, 24/7 just watching us. Just like in the movie, everything has been set before us. Things that happen in our lives, the people that’s a part of our lives, were orchestrated and planned by God. Although God lets us live our own lives, He will place certain things in our lives to prevent us from leaving His perfect plan for our lives. Of course we always have that choice to follow it, unlike Truman had. The friends we have are placed in our lives for a reason. The best friend or few best friends we take, are put into our lives for a reason. Now I’m not saying we always choose wisely who to make our friends or best friends, but they are still there for a reason, hehe. I’m saying that from experience. I know I haven’t chosen the best of friends in the past, but I’m so thankful that I did choose them before. Strange yes, but I’ve learned from them and those experiences to know to not go back to that, hehe.

  
  

  At the end of the movie, Jim Carrey obviously finds out the truth, that’s definitely predictable. But he got to talk with the guy that created it all. And the director of it all was talking to him like he was God. Metaphorically, not literally, hehe. I’m not saying he was boasting about his “creation” or anything. But I could imagine God saying the same things that he did. Basically he was explaining to Jim Carrey a few things about what was going on. And I can just hear God saying the same things. I created you. I created this world for you to enjoy, I was there for your birth, I was there to see your first steps. When you lost your first tooth, I was there. When you met your best friend, I saw. That first test you aced, I rejoiced with you. That first test you failed, I suffered with you. That girlfriend/boyfriend that broke your heart, mine broke along with yours. That girlfriend/boyfriend that eventually became your wife/husband, I celebrated along with you. When you landed that perfect job, I cheered with you. God wants to be so involved with our lives and we never let Him be as involved as He really wants to be. I know that because I don’t even let Him take everything like I should. Sometimes I think I’ve given something up to Him, but I was far from it, still holding onto it myself deceiving myself into thinking that I have surrendered it to God.

  
  

  I’ve been so out of touch with God lately, yet I still hear Him calling. I still feel that tug on my heart everyday. I still feel the conviction when I’m messing up. I still feel His love and grace upon me. Yet I still continue in my sinful ways. Why is that? I don’t understand us humans sometimes. Other times I wish I didn’t understand, hehe. I’ve gotten phone calls from people at church wondering where I’ve been and I haven’t returned their calls. I’ve just been afraid to call them. I don’t know why. Afraid to allow myself to be a little more vulnerable. We’ve all been hurt and it’s hard for me now to just open up. I used to be very open about myself, but let’s just say this world sucks and people aren’t as they show themselves to be. One part of I me wants to pour out to these people because I know they won’t judge and just love me for who I am,, but on the other hand, I really am afraid of what that might do to me. It’s just amazing what God will do to bring you back to Himself. Even if we don’t go back for the right reasons, we ought to go back to Him just because of how much effort He puts in to get to us. He should be “rewarded” for what He does although that’s completely the wrong way to think.

  
  

  Anyway…I’m done for tonight, hehe. Take care everyone. God Bless.

  
  

  Wayne Hsu

  • 4:54 am
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