I’ve been thinking about a lot of things lately. But God has been showing me some really interesting things that I’ve thought about before, but never really had revelation I guess you could say on God’s point of view. Lately, I’ve been thinking about need vs. want.

As you may or may not know, I’ve had absolutely no money for about 2.5 months. Rent was covered by friends and parents. I still owe my roommate for a few months of utilities. And I really want to pay my parents back. Although they would never really let me pay them back, I still want to. It’s the least I can do for the 18+ years they have taken care of me. But anyway, back to my point, hehe. I’ve thought about this before, but I guess it never really hit me till just recently. And well, most of you probably know all of this as I knew all of this, but I don’t know why it has suddenly become a new revelation for me.

So since I’ve had no money to spend for 2.5 months, the money I got from my parents, was rationed. about 3 weeks ago, I went shopping with Teddy and Ivo for some food. It was right before their finals week and they wanted to get some ramen cause when you’re at mines, there are certain times where you just don’t have the time to eat. So they wanted to get ramen. It was easy, quick and it was at least something to fill their stomachs. And they didn’t need to take any time away from their studying. Well, I decided to get some ramen too. I had a little money to spend from my parents. I didn’t ask them for any money, my mom just gave it to me. Ah, the love of a mother. =) So I picked up some ramen with the money I had and got some bread as well. That food was going to last me about 3 weeks before my first paycheck from my new job. I started the job during their pay week. So for the past 2 weeks, I’ve eaten nothing but ramen and bread. Occassionally, we all went out for a special occassion and my food was paid for by Teddy, Ivo and Xiao. Anna’s Birthday was one occassion. There was a get together with some friends earlier this week that I was invited to. But those events were unexpected events and I had to be covered by friends. I didn’t expect to be going out or eating anything different besides ramen and bread. =P I was prepared for that. But God blessed me with great friends who don’t care about money and I know that God will return it to them in full. Of course I’ll pay them back. Pay for dinner here…pay for something there. =P That’s only the dinner portion, hehe. For the rent and what not they helped with I’ll just pay them back fully for that.

So the whole thing about need vs. want. There are A LOT of things that I want, haha. I was always into new things. My parents always said that about me and I see it in myself too. It was growing up that way I think that really spoiled me. I had friends who would just buy something new if the old one didn’t work as well. Or if it broke, they wouldn’t get it replaced or try and fix it…nope, just go out and buy a new one. Now I realize that the Chinese culture is very different. If we can fix it, we’ll do it ourselves and fix it and use it until it literally dies, hehe. But I’ve always loved new things. I mean, who doesn’t? It’s a great feeling when you get something new, It’s like Christmas all over again, except you spend your own money.

But since I’ve had no money, my wants have dwindled. Every now and then I still get the urge to want to get something new, but I fight that urge now because it’s something I don’t need. God provides everything we need. Does that mean I don’t need to save my money for those needs? Of course not, we have to be good stewards of our money. It’s not really ours to begin with is it? Without God giving us life everyday, without the talents and skills He’s placed within us, without the personalities that we have, etc etc would we even have the job we do? Of course not. That’s not just saying for believers, that’s for unbelievers as well. Why? Because we are all created in the IMAGE of God. That means body, soul, and spirit. So God provides what we need, but that still requires our own money. =P It’s not just going to fall down from heaven. Although that would be nice and sometimes it seems like it does. (Meaning my life for the past few months)

During the holidays, I do say go all out for the people you love. Don’t spend every last penny, lol, but do something great and bless those you love. However, we should be giving to those we love every day of the year, not just Christmas. It’s just an extra special blessing during the Holidays. When we give everyday, there will never really be a want because you’re getting something from someone everyday. It doesn’t always have to be something material that you can see and touch. What do we truly need? We need what the Spirit provides. The fruit of the Spirit is what we really need. God is what we truly need. Everything else just becomes a want.

And when you have wants, and you have no money to get those wants. You start to realize that you know, it doesn’t really matter if I get that. Although it would be nice and I would love to have it…I don’t need it at all. I wouldn’t die without it, even though people say they would. We all have to start thinking about what’s truly important and what we can just do without. Be simple people. I’m not saying never buy anything new or stop shopping or anything like that. But let’s be wise in our spendings. Let’s be wise in how we control our money. I just know that I don’t plan on spending anymore money than I absolutely have to. There are going to be special occassions where I will have to spend extra, but it will be worth it. Meaning birthdays, holidays, etc.

I don’t believe God took all my money away, that’s not His ways. But everything works together for good for those who love God. <–paraphrased. So even though God didn’t give this to me, He still taught me a great life lesson that my parents have been trying to teach me for years. It’s just interesting how successful we become when we let God teach us and mold us. Amazing ain’t it? hehe. Take care everyone.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

God Bless and be safe this holiday season. May God bless you all with His richest blessings. I love you all and God loves you all even more. God Bless.

Wayne Hsu and Holy Spirit

I went back to church today. Sunday service I mean. I haven’t been to church in about 2.5 months. Yeah…bad. But looking back now, through that time…everything about me was going in the wrong direction. My life was just falling apart. Things weren’t going well at all. Jobless, moneyless, in a sense…Godless.

Church today was just awesome. I couldn’t have asked for a better time, hehe. Got to worship again with my brothers and sisters. Got to listen to my man of God preach another awesome, inspiring and full of revelation Word from God. It was so amazing…almost everything that was preached about today….God had been showing me and revealing to me. I’m just so amazed at how God works. Things like that is just like….there’s no way that’s just coincidence that I “thought” about that today or recently. I just feel that I need to kind of list the things that have been happening to me and what God has done. I don’t know why or who this may be for, but I’m going to do it in obedience to the prompting.

So where to start…there’s just so much that has been going on. I guess I’ll just start with whatever comes to mind first. One of the biggest things that come to mind is driving. Now you say, driving?, the heck you talking about? Well…I’m not really an aggressive driver, but it really bothers me when people do stupid things on the road. It’s just like…no wonder there’s so many accidents. Cause people are being stupid while being behind the wheel. The Lord started showing me the attitude that’s like towards those people. It would be the same as attacking them physically when I’m sitting behind my wheel yelling at them for being stupid. They can’t hear me anyway…why bother? Instead…whenever something bad happens…I ought to forgive the person for not making the best decision. They are only human and if it wasn’t for God…I may not even be here today as I have had many many close calls that could have easily taken my life. Some were my fault, some weren’t. And if we look at it from God’s point of view, what did Jesus say? Father forgive them for they know not what they do. Same thing…forgive them for they know not what they do. People usually don’t purposely try to make you mad on the road. It was just a mistake and if there’s no harm…let it go.

The next thing which is probably the biggest thing ever in my life that God has dealt with and I pray that this is the last time He has to because it was such a humbling experience as well as the person I had become was a person that even I disliked. Many people have heard me say, “People are retarded”. God had been showing me that I shouldn’t be saying that about His people. It’s not like I am perfect. I’m not the one that should be judging that way. Although we are allowed to judge people by their fruit…our motives for the judging HAS to be pure. For me, it started out as something pure, but slowly began to twist and corrupt into something that was disgusting and a tool used to build myself up. There was one event in particular that an acquaintance is attending a church in which there seems to be no growth, no power, nothing. And well, the Lord convicted me and said, “at least she’s going to church.” It’s like…wow…when and where did I go so wrong? That doesn’t mean that’s where God wants her to be but He’s not dealing with her through me…He’s just flat out dealing with me. My attitude with other people has degenerated soo much. I used to look at people and see the beauty within them. I used to look at people like God looked them and saw something amazing. As I started to fall and slip away from God…people started becoming “ugly” to me. Not physically, don’t get me wrong. But just in general. The people I used to see as beautiful are now just nothing in my eyes. And that attitude is so wrong. Teddy had a message for the youth about Jonah and how Jonah perceived the city of Nineveh. That definitely spoke to me because God had already started dealing with me on that topic. It was just a confirming message. =) God commanded us to love everyone. Didn’t have to like them, but love them with God’s agape unconditional love. My love was definitely conditional. Not completely conditional, but the majority of it definitely was. But being more full of God now….again I should say….the love that God has for us is just incredible.

On a side note, I saw a broadcast where they were attempting to disprove the Bible and just attack God like crazy. On one hand…I was pretty angry that they were doing this to God, but on the other hand, I knew that I had to just forgive them and let God deal with it. I just started talking to God and said, “HOW?!? How can you take that? When someone is just outright attacking You.” Not so much for God to just smite them or something, lol. But more, how does God still love them? I don’t see how He could. God then proceeded to remind me of everything that happened while He was on the earth. The romans physically mistreated Him yet He forgave them. His own disciple betrayed Him yet He forgave Him. He was abandoned yet He forgave all those who did. He was constantly attacked and tricked and was trying to be trapped everyday. Yet He forgave those that did those things. Being attacked in this TV broadcast was nothing new for Him. He really helped me see what the extremes of persecution was like. Yet we are “called” to go through the same things. I’m just like…there’s no way any human can take that and not be mad or discouraged or wanting revenge. It wasn’t even about me and I wanted revenge. It’s like…how DARE you? But on the flip side, we are called to forgive them. Pray for those that persecute you. Love your enemies. God is truly amazing and holy.

That was definitely one of the biggest things. My attitude towards people. The ones we are called to minister to. The ones we are called to pray for. The ones we are called to love. I could sit here all day and “defend” myself and show myself for being in the right, but I’m not going to deceive myself any longer. That’s not the right way to go and that’s not the ways of the Lord. My love and my patience has really dwindled and well…when you lose your love….you basically lose everything because God is love. My love has returned unto me and my attitude has definitely been changed by God….yet again, hehe.

It’s really interesting though. Today…every message I heard, which about 3 total, but everyone I heard God had been speaking to me about. It’s just like wow. Why did He choose me? It’s like I can almost expect what to hear the next Sunday as God leads me through the week showing me the same things that Pastor is going to preach about. Why do I have this kind of relationship with Him? Why does He show me these things? Is it a part of my calling? A part of my purpose for the future? Just another part of the relationship I have with Christ? Adding on to that though…the messages I heard, I really needed to hear. They were just amazing. Some of the coolest things that I never looked at it that way before or even thought about. But a lot of what was said makes perfect sense especially for me in my life. But I’m sure everyone who heard those messages would say the same. God is just so awesome.

I’ve really reached a new level with God. It’s just so awesome. I feel like Peter who denied Christ 3 times that night. But when Peter came back…he was like…100 times more powerful. That’s what it feels like and God is just so good. Some of the questions I’ve been struggling with as a believer have been answered in the weeks in which I need Him the most. Amazing how that is huh? hehe. Praise God. Well…that’s it for now. I was going to write more, but it’s getting late and I have work in the morning and I don’t want to be too tired for that, hehe. Take care everyone and God Bless.

Wayne Hsu and Holy Spirit

I got this from another site that I normally browse. Enjoy it…as I read it I just started crying because God is just so awesome. The site I got it from is “GTR4eternity13mom”. Visit that site if you ever have time. It’s such an awesome site and the person has stuff like this post on there all the time. It’s such an awesome reminder and encouragement. Take care everyone and God Bless.

THREE TREES

Once there were 3 trees on a hill in the woods.
They
were discussing their hopes and dreams when the first tree said,
“Someday I hope to be a treasure chest. I could be filled with gold,
silver and precious gems. I could be decorated with intricate carving
and everyone would see the beauty.”

Then
the second tree said, “Someday I will be a mighty ship. I will take
kings and queens across the waters and sail to the corners of the
world. Everyone will feel safe in me because of the strength of my
hull.”

Finally
the third tree said, “I want to grow to be the tallest and straightest
tree in the forest. People will see me on top of the hill and look up
to my branches, and think of the heavens and God and how close to them
I am reaching. I will be the greatest tree of all time and people will
always remember me.”

When the first tree arrived
at the carpenters, he was made into a feed box for animals. He was then
placed in a barn and filled with hay. This was not at all what he had
prayed for.

The
second tree was cut and made into a small fishing boat. His dreams of
being a mighty ship and carrying kings had come to an end.

The
years went by, and the trees forgot about their dreams. Then one day, a
man and woman came to the barn. She gave birth and they placed the baby
in the hay in the feed box that was made from the first tree. The man
wished that he could have made a crib for the baby, but this manger
would have to do. The tree could feel the importance of this event and
knew that it had held the greatest treasure of all time.

Years
later, a group of men got in the fishing boat made from the second
tree. One of them was tired and went to sleep. While they were out on
the water, a great storm arose and the tree didn’t think it was strong
enough to keep the men safe. The men woke the sleeping man, and He
stood and said “PEACE” and the storm stopped. At this time, the tree
knew that it had carried the King of Kings in its boat.

Finally,
someone came and got the third tree. It was carried through the streets
as the people mocked the man who was carrying it. When they came to a
stop, the man was nailed to the tree and raised in the air to die at
the top of a hill. When Sunday came, the tree came to realize that it
was strong enough to stand at the top of the hill and be as close to
God as was possible, because Jesus had been crucified on it.

The
moral of this story is that when things don’t seem to be going your
way, always know that God has a plan for you. If you place your trust
in Him, He will give you great gifts. Each of the trees got what they
wanted, just not in the way they had imagined. We don’t always know
what God’s plans are for us. We just know that His ways are not our
ways, but His ways are always best.

When
things don’t go your way or when you don’t see the way ahead, don’t be
discouraged. God has His plans for you, but executed in His perfect
timing. Because “as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my
ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.” Is 55:9