I've been meaning to post for a long time now, haha. So much on my mind...crazy stuff. I don't know where to start. I was going to take a shower...but I just finished dinner. Not supposed to shower after you eat. Don't know why, that's what my mom always told us, haha.

I'll start with most recent news. I decided to do the internship after all. It's been on my mind for a really really long time and in my heart, that's exactly what I want to do. Because of finances I wasn't able to do it, but the church has been so awesome, they are going to work with me to get payments and figure out the money situation. What's even cooler, I heard that the Pastor himself wanted to help me out financially if that's what it took. Adam Bagwell also tried really hard to get me to come. He was telling me he normally doesn't do that because it really is our decision to do the internship or not. And although it is my decision, him and the other leaders really wanted me on "staff" or in the internship. That just blows me away. I don't know why they would want me. Pastor just said there was something about me and he wanted me as a part of the team. I'm just really touched at that. They barely know me yet they really want me there. So encouraging.

It was crazy. I had decided to just do my job and work the two jobs I have. But no....God has His own plans for me. Today at church, I was fighting with Him the whole way through the service. Great message and everything as always, hehe. But God reminded me of soo many things and really showed me some new things. Basically...I knew all along that I was supposed to join the internship even though at the time of my decision...everything was pointing away from the internship. Just had a lack of faith or something I guess. Maybe I was just trying to honor my parents. This is going to be really hard too because now I have to tell my parents I'm not going to work for the other place anymore. They are going to explode on me. I already know it. I'll probably write them a letter first. Break it to them that way. Then I'll talk to them. They are going to be mad at me...I already know that because I know my parents, but I have to do what I have to do for God. He's number one and I can't be selfish and do what I wanna do. Although...that job would have paid off everything that I owe. I'm just like....fine...if I have to live in poverty from now till the rest of my life...I will as long as God's will is done on the earth. But the cool thing is...God isn't going to let me live in poverty. He's already promised blessing and He came to give life and to give it more abundantly. He's promised prosperity. Praise God Praise God!!

Onto other news, hehe. I went clubbing for the first time in my life. I'm never doing it again in my life. I don't see why Christian's would want to go clubbing. So I get there Friday night. I'm with my friends, some are Christian, some aren't. I got in for free which was a blessing from God. I enjoy dancing and all....I hated the club. Finally all my friends arrive and we head to the dance floor. On the way out there, I get seperated from my friends and from the group. So I just decided to walk around myself and spend some time with God.

So I'm just talking with God about the place. Meanwhile, getting really sick to my stomach and felt like throwing up. The club reminded me of Sodom and Gomorrah. Just a place of sin, wrath, and rebellion. People doing things that was created as a sacred thing. Something precious. Sickening. I can understand why God would want to destroy those cities. I wanted to destroy the club and every other club. After talking a while with God, my friend texted me asking where I was, haha. I'm like...I'm around. =P Basically I told him to have a good time with the rest of the gang and to forget about me. I wasn't going to participate. Am I dissing clubs? You bet I am. I'm not saying anything about the people. My friends are good Christian's who love to dance and that's why they go. I know they aren't ever going to do anything bad. I just don't see the fun in it. I like to dance too, but not at a club. Do I look down upon the people that go? Not at all!! I was thinking during my time at the club....to just take the mic and start preaching!! hahaha. Have the Holy Spirit just fall on the place and deliver EVERYONE!! hehe. I felt God's presence all over me too. It was nice to have that comfort. After a while though the Lord spoke up and said, "have you had enough?" I said yes and walked out. I walked across the street, ripped off the over 21 armband they gave me and told God that I felt so ashamed just because I was there. So I ended up going back to my car to wait for my friends and put in a CD and listened to a sermon. =P I had my own fun that night, hehe.

All in all though, I'm glad I went to the club. I had never actually seen what goes on at a club although I hear the same things over and over. It was just really interesting to witness it first hand. I just know I'll never go back to another club. Sorry to all my friends who enjoy it...I just can't stand it.

I just need prayer now everyone. Finances, relationships with friends/family, and guidance for the future. Parents, haha. They are going to kill me, lol, but I have to do what God says. Obedience really is a hard thing sometimes. Praise God though that He's going to take care of everything. Take care everyone. Thanks for your prayers. God Bless and love you all very much.

Wayne Hsu and Holy Spirit

Such a difficult decision.As I said in my last post. I got into my church internship. The sucky thing is...I can't pay for it right now.I don't have the funds. I can't even tithe. You can't really give God 10% of $0.  It's so frustrating not to be able to worship God with tithe. I know how important it is to tithe and I know how important it is to give. I want to give but I can't because I have nothing to give. For people who don't understand the importance of tithe, sorry, hehe. It took me a while to really grasp why God wants us to do it. There's soo much that just comes from tithing. It's so amazing. It's not just to give back what's already God's. That's a major reason. It's not just to give so you can receive. I'm not going to go into it...but it's so awesome when you are able to tithe and help the house of God.

It's really interesting though what happened. I get a call saying that I need to come in for an interview for the internship. To my surprise...I was accepted. If I had known about it beforehand...I woulda saved up for it a long time ago. No excuse though, I should have been saving money anyway. Especially with what the Bible has to say about money, hehe. At the same time I got accepted into the internship, a great job opportunity arises. Why does God always give us these tough decisions? It actually wasn't that tough because I can't really pay for the internship. =P Not that God can't provide for it. =)

So I went in for the interview today. I'm pretty much guaranteed the job. The lady said that they were VERY interested in having me on staff. I got to talking with some of the people that I'd be working with...all I have to say is....even though I'm just starting....I'm going to be carrying A LOT of weight. I know there's going to be a lot expected of me. To whom much is given, much is required. I've decided to go with the job and I pray that I'm making the right decision. God has given me much even with this job. There's going to be a lot required even by God when I start this job. The funny thing is...I'll be working with my dad now. Same company, but I probably won't see him much throughout the day. First I work with my mom and now I'm going to work with my dad. Maybe God is trying to bring my family closer together?  My parents have told me that they want more communication between us kids and them. That's so awesome. It'll be hard for me because they don't understand a lot, but I really need to make an effort to do it because it will open up witnessing opportunities.Not to mention I've told God many times that my desire is to be closer with my family. I see my friends and how close they are with their parents and to be honest, I'm a little jealous that I don't have that with my own parents.

Now I have to call Adam Bagwell back and tell him that I can't do the internship this year. I hate it cause it's all because of STUPID finances. I'm sorry, money sucks, blah. Too bad money is so important in society, hehe. I don't know what to say or how to say it. Need help in telling him. God will guide my words. He has to...I don't know what or how to say it.

Never stop growing in the Lord. Man...it's just like one things after another. People say one thing and everything points in another direction. I don't know how people can do it without God. I spend a lot of time with God and I still don't feel I'm spending enough time with Him or getting what He wants me to get from the times I do spend with Him. I don't know...I love spending time with Him and any free time I get is normally spent with Him. Since I don't have a job, you can just imagine how much time that is, hehe. I am hearing His voice more clearly though, that's just awesome. I love it. I just finished Ezekiel yesterday and today I'll most likely finish Daniel. Short book. =)

It's great that I can multitask. I'm really carrying a lot on me right now even in the Lord. Going through a few things at the same time. What Pastor Aja preached to us Sunday was such a timely Word. For EVERYONE. It was just amazing. Never heard a sermon like that one before. Praise God for it. Pray that I'll have the wisdom and strength to handle everything. Everything just tells me to quit now. Gotta keep fighting though. Not just for myself, but for my family, friends, and my future family and friends and my life in the future too. God's really making me a warrior now. Gotta keep fighting. never give up. Praise God.

To all my friends. I'm just really sorry for the days ahead. I've seen some of the things that are going to happen. I kind of wish they would be different, but I can't say that I'm totally unhappy with what's going to happen. It'll be a real blessing from God yet it'll be really tough on me. When I get through everything...I'll be back in people's lives. Maybe. But for now...I don't know how close I'm going to be to people. What I have with friends already isn't going to deteriorate. Things are just going to be on hold for a while...a LONG while. I hope all you beleivers will keep seeking God with ALL your heart. God's the only person that can help you with what you go through. Your friends can help and minister and give you words from God...but that never beats just a few minutes with God and asking what He has to say about things. For all you non-believers...continue to think about God. He's thinking about you. It says in Psalms that the thoughts of God for you personally are more than ALL the grains of sand on this earth. Think about that. Not only did Jesus come to die for our sins...but the Father thinks about us so much that the sands of the earth don't even outnumber His thoughts. If you think about all the sand on this earth. Every beach, every ocean floor, every playground, sandbox, etc. etc. Every single grain of sand. That just blows me away. I think Chinese Heritage Camp will kind of mark the end and the beginning. God Bless you all. I'll try and post on xanga as much as possible. I love you all very much.

Wayne Hsu and Holy Spirit