September 8, 2005

• God is such a wonderful God. So amazing. When I think He's not there anymore...He's closer than I can ever imagine. Just this morning....another amazing, beautiful, and glorious sunrise. I was hearing some things being said about hurricane Katrina. To be totally honest...I was getting sick of hearing about it. I mean...everywhere you look, everything anyone talks about is hurricane Katrina. I started getting a really bad attitude about the situation. Just like...get over it people, it happened, big deal. Stupid stupid me not even knowing the real extent of what has happened nor being even near to the incident. I can't say anything negative about something I don't know. You can't talk to people about something you know nothing about. This hurricane seems to have been the biggest ever. So much damage. Both physically and emotionally. That hurricane has really taken it's toll.

  
  

  I really didn't want to hear about the hurricane anymore, like I said, I was just getting a really bad attitude. Not having a heart of compassion like God wants me to have. So what happens? God works. The next song that came on K-love was a new one I had never heard. I think it might have been sung by Third Day or Mercy Me. I don't know, I could be way off, but that's not the point. The song was a song for the victims of Hurricane Katrina, kind of an ode to them. That's the right word right? hehe. But the song was very uplifting and encouraging, but at the same time...it had parts of President Bush's speeches as well as some interviews with the first hand victims. I couldn't hold back, the conviction was way too strong and I just burst into tears. Repenting of my poor attitude as well as for the sin in my life. When God works...He doesn't do things halfway, He really does it all.

  
  

  There's a xanga site that I found a while back that has some awesome stories and fun little things on it about God. How "ironic" and "coincidental" that the person's post was the exact same thing that God dealt with me about this morning. Amazing huh? Here's the link: http://www.xanga.com/GTR4eternity13mom . You all should check back at the xanga periodically. There's some awesome stuff on there. I don't know where the author gets it all, hehe. Actually, I probably do know, yes...from the Lord Himself. ^_^

  
  

  So Chinese Heritage Camp was awesome-o. I wish my friends that didn't get in were able to go. They didn't get in because of an excess of counselors. What made me mad was about a dozen or more counselors called out saying they couldn't make it. Holy crap people...if you can't commit to 3 days...DON'T!! There are others who really wanted to do it and who would be GREAT counselors that didn't get in cause you had a spot. People need to be more responsible. I think that's even a question on the application. Can you commit to these 3 days? Ugh...makes me mad. I was told that I should've just brought them because some groups ended up being shorthanded. That sucked, but most everyone did a great job. Before camp had started...I had a really bad feeling about camp. I didn't know why or what about. Well...I found out on Sunday night what that bad feeling was. A prank that was taken way too far. I'm not going to go into detail because that's not the point. The prank should never have been done...at least that prank, if it was just something funny and harmless, that's fine with me. But this was horrible, damage to people's cars as well as camp property. Have you counselors no respect? And these are the SAME counselors that are leading the children. What kind of example is that for the kids?

  
  

  A lot of people say that we humans are good by nature. I've said it once and I'll say it again...we are all children of wrath and rebellion. We aren't inherently good. If we are all that way by nature...how are we going to teach kids to grow up correctly when we can't even do it right? A lot of people say that they are good counselors, they are good counselors. Well...I tend to disagree with a lot of that. Just to be negative? Of course not. A lot of people just look at how you are with the kids. And yes...when these counselors are around the kids, they are well behaved. Around the parents, they have fun with the kids, they play with the kids, they teach and help the teachers. But then you look at these same "good" counselors on their free time and you see a whole different person. I don't believe a good person is someone you see doing good things. A good person is one that has been conditioned to be one. Whether it be by God, parents, friends, etc. The way they are when they aren't around someone they have to "impress" is how you can tell if a person is good or not. Although I said God...that doesn't mean you have to be Christian to be good. I have plenty of non-Christian friends who are better people than a  lot of the Christian's I know. Sad huh? VERY!! Surprised? Not really. (which is sad in itself). A person who acts one way with kids and another way normally isn't teaching the kids the right way. It shows the kids that being 2-faced is ok. Yes you treat kids and adults differently. You wouldn't talk to kids the same way as you do adults. They wouldn't understand. But that's just the way YOU TREAT them. Your actions, behaviour, habits shouldn't change because you are around a child. Am I saying expose the child to the bad things? Of course not...you shouldn't be leading a child if you have that in your life in the first place. Why? cause you are passing that down to the child.

  
  

  These children are so fragile. They tell us every year the same things. That the kids talk about us counselors throughout the year. Camp is on their lips all the time. The kids look up to us soo much and we mean so much to them. On the flip side, I am the same way. The kids mean so much to me, which is why I go back year after year. Sacrificing my own time, money, energy, strength, sleep, etc. for these kids. I treat each child like my own. But because they aren't mine, I can only do so much. Gotta be careful to not step into the parenting zone, hehe. I'm just a big brother/counselor and not their dad. There's a fine line there, hehe. There's a verse in the Bible that says whatever is in a man's heart, that's what he's going to be talking about. That's how it is with these kids. Camp is really in their hearts, their counselors are in their hearts year round. What's going to happen when they grow up and find out their counselor was really this way, but acted a different way with them? These kids aren't stupid, hehe. They are all very smart. Of course, they are Chinese, hehehe. Seriously though...these kids are our future. A lot of kids don't know things because we, the "older" generation isn't teaching them right. I don't even know where I'm going with this anymore. I wasn't going to post much, but then I got started...and I never stop...*sigh* I just know that I don't act differently when I'm around children. The activities I do with them are the same ones I enjoy myself. They don't see 2 Wayne's. They see me and who I really am.That's all they will see because there is nothing else. I'm not the only counselor that way...many others are the same way, just not all...and that's what I don't like. I would really love to go to the other camps, but I don't have that kind of time. I might right now...but I'm thinking about going back to school so I'll do what I can I suppose, hehe. It's also really cool too cause they are going to bring me and Cici into one of their meetings throughout the year and we get to really talk about some things. So interesting cause during the summer because CHC, I was talking about how I wanted to get even more involved than I already am, hehe. I think that's just awesome how the Lord knows what's in our hearts...assuming He didn't put those there Himself, hehe.

  
  

  Well...after a great weekend with the kids, I come back to a horrible week at work. Been here at work 3 days and been late all 3 days. What is going on? Tuesday, got a flat tire on the way to work....15 minutes late. Wednesday, slept through 5 ALARMS!! Got in 1.5 hours late. Today...fell back asleep on accident after turning off alarm and was 30 minutes late. I can't keep doing this. So irresponsible...irks me. The more I think about it though, I don't think my cell phone alarms are going off at all. Last night I had it right next to my head and I have 3 alarms on my cell that go off within 5 minutes of each other. I didn't hear any of them this morning. How does that work? They are loud and annoying sounds too...stuff you normally wouldn't sleep through...which is why they are alarms, hehe. So I don't know.

  
  

  I guess that's it for now. I can't think of anything else to put down, haha. Anyway, God Bless you all. Thanks for reading my venting. Only a little venting, hehe. Take care everyone and God Bless.

  
  

  Wayne Hsu

  • 12:14 pm
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